Having seen Episode 3 twice now, I feel that I am finally in a position to make my statements then put it to bed. It wasn’t a bad movie, it was an explosion-filled action blockbuster; the final piece of a decades-old space opera, that’s all. Throw in some bare breasts and maybe Vin Diesel and you’d have yourself the typical Hollywood fare. The noticeable cut in C3PO’s screen time left me positively refreshed.
That aside, the abridged script is a good laugh (credit to Jess for sending it to me). People like to tear the latest Star Wars films to shreds, forgetting that the original trilogy was just as bad in every way. I always thought Lucas had done a great job emulating that badness… down to the godawful clock wipes he still uses between scenes. Rose-colored glasses are a real bitch, and I hate to tell people that the movies they loved so much in their childhood weren’t that good, but hey: I can’t pretend that the Dark Crystal is anything great, but I won’t deny that it’s still a very special film to me.
My only enduring complaint of the whole prequel trilogy has been Ewan McGregor’s accent. I know that American producers think they can hire some dude from the British Isles to fill the role of “British Guy” and it’ll all be peachy, but Alec Guiness’ Kenobi always amused me in ways McGregor hasn’t been able to replicate… he had a particular way of speaking about him. Play this little clip from A New Hope in your head:
- I’ve been waiting for you, Obi-Wan. We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner; now I am the master.
- Only a master of evil, Darth.
I mean come on! Nobody could pull off pronouncing ‘evil’ that way but he. Ah, memories.