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Gait

If there’s a downside to dating a physiotherapist (the upsides are free diagnoses and massage, obviously), it’s having your anatomical peculiarities pointed out and explained.

Jess
(as a couple and their dog pass us along the river near her house) I like analyzing people’s gaits.
Chris
Their gaits?
Jess
Yeah (letting herself fall behind). Like you, you tend to walk on your toes… kinda bouncy.
Chris
Thanks; I did go to high school… I’ve had this pointed out before.
Jess
Do you know why, then, smartass?
Chris
Not really. I figured it was some kind of subconscious desire to be wearing heels.
Jess
(laughs) No, it probably just means you have short calves.
Chris
Short calves? But my calves are my best assets! They’re the only muscles that routinely outdo Lee at the gym!
Jess
…probably because you’re always bouncing on them. Seriously: squat for me.
Chris
Squat?
Jess
Squat. Low as you can go.
Chris
(squats)
Jess
See how you can’t keep your heels on the ground? That’s because you have short calves.
Chris
Short calves.
Jess
Yes.
Chris
Great.

Sadly, I’m yet to notice anything particularly queer about her speech that I can pick her up on… then again, her parents are English. It’s hard to pick on someone’s locution when yours is a few generations slacker than hers.