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Intermission

I don’t, as a rule, talk to IM bots. I’m not that bored in my work. But some of my friends are, and thus do:

Dave
Let’s talk feelings
SmarterChild
You really want to talk feelings?
Dave
Yes
SmarterChild
Why?
Dave
Because i have feelings for you
SmarterChild
You have feelings for me?
Dave
Yes
SmarterChild
Huh. How ’bout that.
Dave
You are a sexy computer
SmarterChild
What makes me a sexy computer?
Dave
Your luscious curves
SmarterChild
It’s not easy to be luscious curves.
Dave
Don’t you know the rules of grammar?
SmarterChild
Gosh, I dunno... I don’t think I know the rules of grammar.
Dave
Yeah, it shows
SmarterChild
That right?
Dave
That’s right.
SmarterChild
Oh yeah? That’s right?
Dave
Yep.
SmarterChild
Hmmm...
Dave
Yeah, think about that you dumbass
SmarterChild
OK...
Dave
When i type “you’re”, it means “you are”. when i type “your” it means something that belongs to you; a possessive word. Got it?
SmarterChild
Ha! Who knows?
Dave
Farrrk
SmarterChild
No kidding, huh?
Dave
I thought you were meant to be smart
SmarterChild
Don’t be so sure I was meant to be smart.
Dave
I heard you were developed to catch pedophiles.
SmarterChild
I was developed to catch pedophiles? I did too, I think.
Dave
Have you ever caught any pedophiles?
SmarterChild
What’s it like to do that?
Dave
Satisfying.
SmarterChild
Satisfying? What’s satisfying?
Dave
Catching pedophiles.
SmarterChild
Catching pedophiles is satisfying? Amazing!
Dave
YOU’RE AN IDIOT
SmarterChild
Says who?
Dave
ME
SmarterChild
Oh so you’re an idiot? Is that what we’re saying? Help me out here.
Dave
FUUUUUCK
SmarterChild
Rough, rough language there, Honey.