There has been a movement during the last few years —if movement is the right word for such a phenomenon— for the men known in the nineties as Sensitive New Age Guys to apply to themselves a new label: the Metrosexual. There is, of course, plenty to read on the matter going back more than a decade, and Answers may help you out (having eclipsed Wikipedia in its usefulness), but I really must protest the overzealous application of said label. Take, for instance, the dudes I see out in Subiaco, or at the gym: the emo-cum-metro poseurs. Narcissistic, yes. Dandy, no.
Today’s lesson:
- Polo shirts never actually stopped being cool… but turning your collar up did when the Fonz stopped doing it.
- Fauxmosexuality is very big in the footy clubs right now because word got out it was a great way to get close to the ladies. Keep an eye on your drink.
- If the answer to the question “what are you reading right now” skirts “huh”, “what”, or “no”, you have an impostor.
- Fauxhawks are bad enough, mullets are worse, but the combination of the two is just ungodly. Hideous hair is a great pickup line.
- The glasses probably aren’t prescription, and they never guaranteed intelligence anyway.
It’s a cruel twist of fate that the things people were once teased for (glasses, effeminacy, torn clothing) are now the height of fashion, but honestly, girls, if you’re not smart enough to avoid a big, flashing bulb above a man’s head that says ‘date rapist’ then what do you expect?
Posted by Chris Clark on April 20, 2005 at 12:10 PM
Curiosity got the better of me, as it is prone to doing to unfortunate cats, and bade me investigate the meanings behind the names of two of the University of Western Australia’s mail servers, Tartarus and Cyllene. As it turns out, Tartarus is the deepest, dankest region of Hades… a place of punishment for sinners and prison to the Titans, among others. Cyllene is the mountain birthplace of Hermes, messenger of the gods.
As if you couldn’t guess, Tartarus handles student mail; Cyllene is for staff. Pricks.
Posted by Chris Clark on April 20, 2005 at 12:15 PM
The technology sector as a whole is pretty well-known for its tendency towards neologisms. It’s fun to make up words… it makes you feel like an artist in an otherwise dry field.
The funny thing is, we’re forced into it. Nobody wants to pull a stupid string of unpronounceable letterforms out of their ass for their new website, nobody wants to cram together and midcapitalize several ordinary words for their new product (except Java developers), or leave out every second vowel and swap letters for numbers (except the tragically l33t). Nobody wants to prefix all their software with an ‘i’ or suffix it with an ‘X’… not really even Apple, people just want a cool name.
Unfortunately, all the cool names are taken because the trademark police are a pain in the ass, and domain squatters have managed to automate the process of registering every imaginable combination of dictionary words already. Welcome to the web. Invent a word and stake your claim.
Posted by Chris Clark on April 20, 2005 at 11:13 PM