There has been a movement during the last few years —if movement is the right word for such a phenomenon— for the men known in the nineties as Sensitive New Age Guys to apply to themselves a new label: the Metrosexual. There is, of course, plenty to read on the matter going back more than a decade, and Answers may help you out (having eclipsed Wikipedia in its usefulness), but I really must protest the overzealous application of said label. Take, for instance, the dudes I see out in Subiaco, or at the gym: the emo-cum-metro poseurs. Narcissistic, yes. Dandy, no.
- Polo shirts never actually stopped being cool… but turning your collar up did when the Fonz stopped doing it.
- Fauxmosexuality is very big in the footy clubs right now because word got out it was a great way to get close to the ladies. Keep an eye on your drink.
- If the answer to the question “what are you reading right now” skirts “huh”, “what”, or “no”, you have an impostor.
- Fauxhawks are bad enough, mullets are worse, but the combination of the two is just ungodly. Hideous hair is a great pickup line.
- The glasses probably aren’t prescription, and they never guaranteed intelligence anyway.
It’s a cruel twist of fate that the things people were once teased for (glasses, effeminacy, torn clothing) are now the height of fashion, but honestly, girls, if you’re not smart enough to avoid a big, flashing bulb above a man’s head that says ‘date rapist’ then what do you expect?