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It’s been a while since I watched Sex & the City, so I figured it would be a good idea to watch it and catch up with what’s hip in New York these days. After all, they taught me that a Cosmo is the coolest drink in the world, right??? (Note: Cosmopolitans are the second most goddamned disgusting cocktail I’ve ever consumed. Right after Margeritas). Between The Secret Life of Us and Futurama, “City” (as HBO like to call it for some reason) is the perfect spacer… talking trash, sexual dysfunction, booze, broads, and tits.

In case you’re wondering where the tits came from (so was I), it would appear that Sex & the City’s “stars” (with the exception of Sarah Jessica Parker, what’s up with her anyway?) have all had their contracts recently re-negotiated, because suddenly their tits are all over the screen. I remember back in the day when Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) was the only one to go topless, but suddenly Samantha (Kim Cattrall) and Charlotte (Kristin Davis) are out too. Personally, I couldn’t be happier for them… you know… a leap forward in their careers and all.

Clearly, television is the winner here.