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Garlic Bread. It’s one of those things that everybody loves, but only ever eats when Pizza Hut is offering it for free. So I thinks to myself “I want some freakin’ Garlic Bread. I have garlic, I have bread, and I have some other crap around the place. Let’s roll.”



  1. Thoroughly mix the fucktonne of butter with the garlic and Italian herbs, preferably in a bowl.
  2. Spread the garlicky paste onto the bread, thickly. Very thickly. So thickly that passersby may remark “Hey. Slow down there, fatty.”
  3. Place the slices into the oven for 7 minutes. Maybe 8. Definitely not 10 though, that’s too much.
  4. Enjoy!