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hr@decaffeinated.org?

Dear Human Resources Department,

I am interested in securing a position with your company and would greatly appreciate your assistance on this matter.

I have attached my resume for your review. I would welcome the opportunity to speak with you further about my background, and the ways in which I can bring value to your organization.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Imran Anwar

Dear Imran,

Your resumé is quite impressive, and your attitude matches, but there are six very good reasons why I’m not going to hire you:

  1. I’m not hiring any new staff right now.
  2. You spammed me.
  3. I’m a student, not a company.
  4. This is a weblog, not a business.
  5. I don’t have a human resources department.
  6. You spammed me.

So sue me, that’s really only five reasons. Good luck with that whole “spam your way to employment” thing, though.

Sincerely,

Chris Clark