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Femcar

Volvo’s new concept car is designed by women, for women…and they’ve taken some of the dumbest ideas possible and spent money making them into a reality. Sure, it’s a concept car and won’t ever actually make it to the production line, and we’ve seen plenty of stupid–ass concept cars in the past, but some of these ideas are just…bah!

I’m going to be flamed by angry geek women for being chauvinist, aren’t I?

Split headrest to accommodate ponytails…that’s actually pretty cool, and having storage, storage and more storage is always cool, but what’s the deal with the seat covers? Sure, swappable covers, change them to match your mood, whatever, I get it. But magnets? They’re attached with magnets? Did you forget what century we’re living in? How many of the little electronic devices you carry around with you every day could be potentially damaged by a strong enough magnetic field? What’s that? All of them?

I guess “held on with clips”just wasn’t conceptual enough.

Don’t even get me started on the fold–up seats. That’d get tedious real quick, no matter how great it is to have extra space for your shopping; you don’t notice it when you go to the cinema because you probably don’t get in and out of your cinema chair as much as you do your car.

Moving on…sealing the bonnet? Are you mad? Here’s the sitch: you don’t care about what’s under the bonnet because you’re just some clueless broad. The washer fluid can be filled up from an input next to the petrol input (pretty cool, mind), so you don’t see a need for the bonnet to be opened…ever. So, what about your oil? What about your coolant? What about your brake fluid? Steering fluid? Air filter? Oil filter? Any number of user–serviceable parts that you may indeed just not care about…but your boyfriend/partner/father/hitchhiker could probably check for you. Why pay the Volvo technician $99 for the pleasure of changing your air filter —a two–minute procedure that involves no grease and requires no tools or technical aptitude—when it would cost you $4.95 to do yourself?

Sure, I know people whose cars have broken down because they just never checked their oil. And, admittedly, modern cars are much better at alerting you to the fact that you need an oil change so you should never actually reach that point…but any man worth his salt can change an oil filter and put new oil in a car. It’s a $19 procedure, and sealing the bonnet means you’ll always pay the mechanic his $99 fee. Always. In 20 years, after your car has been through 5 owners and was just sold to a 17–year–old for $400 as his first car, it’ll still need to go to a Volvo–approved garage for something as trivial as an oil change. Whether you care about opening the bonnet or not, somebody will, and sealing it will cost you a lot more in the long run.

And seriously…aside from the fact that a seamless one–piece front end would look more sleek and futuristic than a bonneted car, does the fact that you don’t care enough about your car’s engine to want to open the bonnet mean the option shouldn’t even be there?