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On June 29, moments after the stroke of midnight and the dawn of a new day in Thailand, I’ll be doing one of two things. I’ll either be partying my ass off in the company of my old friend Scotty and (undoubtedly) some lovely young ladies (they’d be Scotty’s doing, not mine. Slick bastard)… or I’ll be in a Thai internet café, surrounded by shouting gamers and whatnot, watching the WWDC ‘Tiger’ keynote.

Sadly, you can probably guess which I’d prefer to be doing… and I’m not even sure if it’s possible.

How long do these shady back–alley cafés stay open? Do they have wi–fi? Can I get coffee? If all of the above can be satisfied, where the hell am I going to find it? What’s Scotty going to do while I geek it up for a few hours? Women? Probably.

These questions, and many more, plague my mind. The perils of holidaying in foreign countries while the Apple event of the year is being webcast. The horror.