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Stanford would’ve been a better choice

I heard a fantastic story last week from Lee, starring Mel’s friend Emma following she and Lee’s first meeting at Mike’s birthday last year. I doubt it translates well to text, but it’s worth a shot:

Lee is introduced to Mel’s little quartet of girlfriends and is told by Emma (a blonde) that people tell them they look like the Sex & the City girls all the time. Riiight. Besides Emma, Mel is also a blonde, then there’s Charmagne —a brunette— and Paris, a redhead; so at least they have the hair down pat. Emma asks Lee which one he thinks she is (floosy alert), and though the answer is obviously Samantha, saying as much implies that she’s a chubby whore — not the best of first impressions to make upon a friend’s girlfriend’s best friend. Lee is cornered, since fingering Emma as Carrie would imply that Mel is Samantha (another gaffe)… and would be altogether too cheesy to suggest that Emma is ‘the star’ when she’s obviously fishing for compliments. Quick on his feet, Lee tries to throw a curveball by naming another random character from the show…

“You’re Big”

Total silence from the girls. Lee kinda motions to save himself from his own words, but doesn’t get anywhere. More silence. Emma, who is especially touchy about the weight she’s just recently put on, is not impressed. The cold glare from her direction pierces Lee’s skin, he cowers a little and makes good his escape. Five months later, he still can’t look her in the eye.