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They’re ours now

Australia has a long and distinguished history of claiming other countries’ celebrities for its own. New Zealander Russell Crowe having attended the prestigious NIDA acting school in Sydney became officially “ours” once the big–ticket roles started rolling in. Romper Stomper? The Sum of Us? Yup, Russell Crowe is true blue, bloody oath. Likewise, Hawaiian–born Nicole Kidman, since wowing us all in the you–bloody–ripper Aussie film BMX Bandits at the age of sixteen, has been “our Nicole” ever since. Hell, even ex–hubby Tom Cruise got a foot in the door just for being married to her.

It goes both ways, of course. Kylie Minogue has been living in England for nigh on two decades, long enough for most of us to have forgotten her ocker roots as Charlene in Neighbours; and even though none of us are prepared to admit it, she becomes less and less “our Kylie” every passing year. Greg ‘the Shark’ Norman is only Australian for as long as he’s on the fairway, and as for Mel Gibson… well, if Mad Max (AKA the Road Warrior) weren’t so infamous I’m not sure anyone would ever have realized. Only school kids have seen him play in Gallipoli, after all.

So to carry on the tradition, we (where by “we” I refer to myself and my expert panel of judges: Titty, Dave, and Mike) have decided to start claiming Commonwealth celebrities willy–nilly for Australia. While in Canada we captured “our Avril” and “our Sarah”, deciding to leave Celine and Brian where they were, and since it’s only a matter of weeks until we hit the UK we have our sights set firmly on Gail Porter, Michael Caine, Kenneth Branagh, and Keira Knightley.

Any suggestions?


Chris has been a bad boy. Chris wrote this entry on a train between Miami and Washington DC without an internet connection, and posted it as soon as he went live again. Consequently, Chris’ lack of actual research into the matters discussed herein means a few facts were uh… wrong. Speaking in the third person makes it seem like Chris is less responsible for his actions than he really is.

Long story short, Russell Crowe didn’t go to NIDA, lazy bastard. Mel Gibson went to NIDA. Good ol’ Mel.