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For the first time in my life I’ve joined a gym: specifically Zest. Despite the fact that friends, girlfriends, family, and workmates have always raved about their workouts and how much fun they have at the gym, it never caught on until now. I’ve never been particularly unhappy with my body —I’d say I’ve been lazy but lucky— but I appreciate there are only so many years you can push the “I’m tall and I have a high metabolism” card before you lose the proportions you took for granted in high school. To look at your father, your uncles, and your grandfathers and see right into your future is a real kick in the pants.

The more I think about it, though, the more I realize this was as much socially-motivated as health: with all my old friends starting new jobs and new stages in their lives, contact is obviously going to become harder to maintain. Hitting the gym four times a week with the same group of guys and girls is guaranteed contact with some of my best buddies — something I couldn’t ensure whilst sitting in front of a computer terminal. At the same time as we chat and catch up on gossip, we get exercise and/or a good half hour in a hot spa. As an added bonus, Lee is a qualified personal trainer; it pretty much guarantees results when one of your best friends is writing you an appraisal and generating a custom workout for you. Poor bastard. Oh well, I guess I’ve always been the first port of call for computer troubles… now he gets his time in the fitness department.

Man my arms hurt, though.