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Like a hole in the head

I have spent all of today playing with my phone. All of today. After receiving my MMS settings first thing this morning I’ve tinkered and twiddled; sending MMSs to Mike (the only other person I know with a picture phone) and setting myself up for mobile internet access.

To be perfectly honest, the mobile internet sucks. Mobile email is cool, MMS is cool, but mobile internet access is like a terrible technology leprosy or something. I’m not talking about the fact that there’s no layout or images or colour, I knew to expect a plain-text adventure, but the browser (or the server, or the technology, whoever) limits your internet experience to about 30 lines of text. Most modern sites (even the universally-accessible ones, like,, or barely have time to get past their blurb or navigation in that many lines! The result? Zero content. How wonderful.

I’m sure that everyone surfing the net on their PocketPCs or Smartphones or whatever are chortling to themselves quite merrily right now, browsing in a semi-decent graphical browser that doesn’t limit you to 30 lines of useless shite. To to those people I say “go fuck yourselves”, even though my Mother falls into that category of hu-mans. Adding insult to injury, my bank doesn’t support mobile devices at all… so surfing the net from my phone is an officially worthless feature. Huzzah. At least I can check my email, right?